To the motherfucking dipshit asswipe who clipped my car in the parking lot tonight:

Thank you. No, really--the dent you left by my headlight adds a certain amount of je ne sais quoi to my ride, don't you think? And the scrapes of pale green paint were a really nice touch; they stand out beautifully against the blue, scream accident in bight neon ( Read more... )

DEAR COBB,

It is your fault that when listening to the Ani Difranco song Slide, which is in fact kind of a hurty song and not at all hilarious, I end up in wild hysterics. Why? Oh, because of the line "when I look at you I squint/you are that beautiful ( Read more... )

Dear Weather ( Read more... )

Dear iTunes ( Read more... )